Consider this: every pursuit, every ambition, every objective within the office environment boils down to one fundamental drive – the pursuit of feeling good. It's a simple yet profound truth. Whether it's about achieving success, nurturing relationships, securing material possessions, or aiming for personal fitness goals, the underlying motivation is the anticipation of experiencing positive emotions. Therefore, we need to really be intimate with our long term goals and know the path because the path to success will involve some grit and times of unpleasant emotions.
There is nothing wrong or selfish about wanting to feel good or seeking happiness, it is a part of human nature. However, it’s the way we manage these desires and how they influence our actions that shapes their impact on ourselves and others around us. When we are trying to create change in our own life or help someone else create change, we need to be aware of what hurts them or what will block them from creating change.
Three of the fundamental emotions everyone wants to experience are love, safety, and belonging. These emotions are the compass guiding our decisions and actions at a subconscious level. If these emotional needs seem jeopardized in any way, whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to self-sabotage or avoid those situations to preserve these feelings. Why? Because at our essence, we're wired to seek love, safety, and belonging – the bedrock of feeling good.
Reflecting on my personal journey, my decision to get married was fueled by the yearning for love, companionship, and a sense of belonging. It was a quest for a deep, meaningful connection with another human being. Similarly, the desire to have children was rooted in experiencing deep and profound love of being a mother. Climbing the corporate ladder in my younger years was driven by the pursuit of financial security and the feeling of success.
However, in social settings, I occasionally opt for foods or beverages that might not align with my health goals but give me a sense of belonging to partake with others. In the business world, sometime it feels safe to stay quiet and not let my voice be heard. Over time, as I've honed my awareness of my emotions and their influence on my actions, it has empowered me to make deliberate and thoughtful decisions. This heightened self-awareness has become instrumental in making choices that align more closely with my long term goals and values.
As a leader, it's vital to acknowledge and understand these desires within yourself and among your team. As you notice actions or habits that need to be changed, show understanding and compassion while directing the right actions. Address the negative feelings and create safety in making the right intentional actions.
I want to challenge you to look into your life and start creating an awareness of all your actions. Do they help you to be the person you want to be or do they just temporarily feel good in the moment. The actions you do just to provide a temporary relief of feeling good, take a deeper look at and intentionally decide if that is what you want to create in your life. Sometime the better decisions will temporarily not feel good but long term provide a greater rewards of success and positive emotions.
If you see that you are getting stuck in your life and want help being empowered to make positive changes in yourself or your team. I would love to help you in that journey. Sign up for my monthly newsletter or reach out to me at cathi@happyhealthyleadership.com to schedule a time to talk more.
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